We're Back

Back in the hospital, that is. Last week we were in our local hospital in Columbia with RSV and I think I might have just made the mistake of saying "At least it's not the shunt...we can handle this. Just no more shunt surgeries for awhile."

Really? Will I ever learn to quit saying things like that? So...here we sit at Vanderbilt awaiting our 4th shunt revision.

Anderson has had this current shunt since last February 2, 2010. So we were close to making it one year, which is the longest he's had the same shunt. Jamie and I had noticed that his walking seemed to be getting more wobbly about a week ago, although this was the same time that he was diagnosed with RSV, so we just chalked it up to being weak and not feeling well. However, after he recovered from the RSV it didn't get better. Then on Wednesday he slept all day. I mean really ALL day. He was only awake between 6-7 hours and that is not his personality at all. Even when he's sick, he's not one to sleep all day. So this threw up a big red flag.

But why is it that I question my gut about these things? You would think that after having already been through this 3 times I would automatically know to head to the ER to have all of the tests runs to find out for sure. But I didn't. I debated in my head over and over. Is it the shunt? Are we just still recovering from the RSV? Seriously there was a debate in my head for hours on Wednesday. I researched shunt malfunctions like I didn't know the symptoms already. While the whole time my gut knew it was the shunt...but I guess I wanted to try to convince myself otherwise.
So when I finally went to bed Wednesday night, I prayed that if it is the shunt, then have something happen so that I know it's the shunt and I need to take him to be checked. When my MIL got to work Thursday morning, she mentioned what was happening and asked if it could still be the RSV. When she was told no, not RSV but sounds like the shunt, that was my answer. So I brought Anderson to the ER at Vandy around late morning and the series of tests began. By 2:30 he had been through a shunt series of xrays, an MRI, a shunt tap, had an IV started, had 3 people try to draw bloodwork out of the IV and fail, have someone else come in and poke his other arm to get the bloodwork they needed, and we got the news that it was indeed the shunt and we would have surgery the following day.

I know what's coming and I hate it. But there is nothing I can do about it. I hate it not for me, but for him. The tests alone have been much worse now that he's a little older- I can't stand to think about what the surgery recovery will be. I've tried not to let myself think about it other than to pray for only one part of the shunt to be replaced and not the entire shunt system. If they remove all of the tubing that runs from his head down his neck and into his abdomen, he will be VERY sore for weeks due to the scar tissue that has built up over the last year. If they just replace the piece in his head, he will still have a very large incision but the pain won't be as bad. It will be localized pain rather than all over body pain.

So that has been my prayer. I honestly dread today. I know we've been through it before, but that doesn't make it easier. In fact, it may make it more difficult because we know what to expect. Don't get me wrong- I know it could be worse. There are many other children out there who are fighting worse battles than this and I am not trying to be whiny because I am thankful it is just a shunt, and that it can be fixed. It's just that even though it's just a shunt, it is my baby. And there is nothing harder than having to watch your precious child go through so many traumatizing tests and surgeries. This will be surgery number 7 for this little 19 month old.

Oh how I wish I could take his place. I would go through anything myself to keep him from having to do this. But this is life. I can't take this away from him like i want to, so I do the next best thing- just love him, cuddle him, and support him all the way through it. He's a tough little guy. And I remind myself frequently that God has big plans for him. This is just another part of his journey in life, that he will someday be able to share with others and show how God worked so many miracles in his life.

So today I simply ask for prayers for Anderson. Prayers for an uneventful surgery, prayers for only one part of the shunt to be replaced, prayers for him to have peace, and prayers for quick healing. I know that sounds like a lot, but our family is blessed with so many wonderful friends, coworkers, and family who pray every single time we need them. We already know those prayers work, and sometimes I feel like I am emptying all of these peoples' prayer buckets but I promise to return the favor and refill your prayer buckets whenever needed.

Thanks for reading. I will keep everyone updated on how today goes.