Home Again and Doing Great!

I was finally discharged from the hospital this past Thursday with some very strong antibiotics to take for the next 14 days. I was so glad to be home! I have never spent that much time in the hospital, and I have a new understanding of how easy it is to get down and depressed with each day that goes by. I really feel for those who spend weeks at a time in the hospital- by Wednesday, I had decided it was time to have a pity-party. I really wanted to go home, but when they told me I just wasn't ready yet, I felt sorry for myself. So Wednesday was a really bad day, emotionally speaking, where I think I really had a lot of time to think and come face to face with the journey I have just begun. I know everyone keeps saying how strong I am, but in reality, I am not strong. I am weak, but in my weak moments I pray and ask God to hold me up, to get me through, to push me forward. Well, during my pity-party Wednesday I simply allowed myself to feel like I was all alone in this journey. I know that is the farthest thing from the truth, but when you don't feel great and you have a lot of time to just sit and think, you can easily convince yourself of anything. I allowed myself to lose focus of all of the people out there supporting me through prayer, t-shirts, bracelets, cards, etc. I allowed myself to forget that God was right there beside me at the hospital, helping my body heal and get stronger each day. I guess that's a natural thing, but let me tell you- it's lonely.

Somehow a few friends of mine knew (or maybe just suspected) that I was having a bad day, and they decided to make a surprise visit to the hospital- even though I had been placed in isolation. They came in with a giant picture collage from my pink party, as well as some of my favorite snacks. We did a lot of laughing that night, and it was exactly what I needed to remind myself that I am never alone in this journey. God is always there, but so are a whole host of friends, family, and complete strangers- standing by my side, lifting me up in prayer, and ready to be there on those difficult days.

My and Jamie's families have been an absolute blessing through all of this, helping keep some normalcy and routine for the kids while I was stuck at the hospital. I really don't know what we'd do without them all being so close to us and willing to help out whenever and however they can.

I came home with the directions to get plenty of rest. Let me tell you, no one is having to fight me to follow these orders. This infection completely wiped me out! I can get up and do a few things and then it is straight back to my recliner to rest. I am not being stubborn. While I know I didn't do anything to cause the infection, I am not risking doing anything to cause another setback. I am following doctor's orders and getting plenty of rest.

Other than the exhaustion, I really feel pretty good considering what my body has been through the past 2 weeks. I don't have much pain at all, other than some soreness. Sleeping is sometime difficult as it's hard to get comfortable while making sure my left arm is in a good position to allow the fluid to drain, making sure the drainage tubes (I have 2 again) aren't kinked or somewhere they could be yanked out while I sleep, and just trying to be in a comfortable position for the soreness from the 2 surgeries. That is pretty much my only complaint.

I apologize for not updating the blog more frequently. I tend to do short updates on Facebook, but then I was reminded that there are people checking the blog who aren't on facebook. So I will try to do better with the updates on here, even if they tend to be short rather than long.

Monday is our rescheduled appointment with the oncologist. It's Monday afternoon so I will post again Monday night as we are hoping to have a plan and lots of answers when we leave that appointment. Please pray that this appointment will go well- Jamie and I already have a slight bad taste in our mouth after the doctor refused to come and see us while I was in the hospital, even though his office is attached to the hospital and required a short walk down a hallway. I pray that our minds are changed on Monday when we meet face to face.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! The weather around here is absolutely gorgeous and I was able to enjoy some time outside today, which felt great. Keep praying! Let's move forward in this journey!