Paths Cross for a Reason

It was nearing the end of the school year, and I had completed my 3rd round of the "Red Devil".  For some reason I was not bouncing back as quickly as I had with the first 2, and I had become very discouraged.  I was frustrated and when I looked at the long road of chemo still left to be traveled, it seemed endless.  I wanted to give up.  I just didn't feel good and wondered how long it would be before I felt half "normal" again. 

I walked Kinsley up the sidewalk that led from my school to hers, and one of the second grade teachers, also a friend of mine, opened the door for us.  When she asked how I was feeling/doing, I think she could tell I wasn't at a good point.  She started telling me about a book she had read recently that I really needed to read.  Another book about breast cancer? No thanks is what I thought, but I politely said "Really?  What's it called? Maybe I should check it out."  She proceeded to tell me that this girl was young when diagnosed, had 2 kids, wrote on a blog, and the book was her blog that was later published.   Hmmmm.... Now I was getting interested...As she kept telling me little parts of the book, like how this girl threw her hands in the air after her third red devil and wanted to give up, I knew I had to get my hands on that book. 

No worries.  She had already ordered me a copy- she would have let me borrow hers, but it was on her Kindle- so she had already ordered me a hard copy because somehow she KNEW how much I needed this book. 

The day she brought me the book, I couldn't wait to get started reading.  I was craving hearing the story of someone I could relate to- someone who truly understood where I was and what I was going through.  I had been trying to find blogs/books/real people- anyone who I could find to relate to.  What was it exactly I needed from them?  At this point I wasn't sure, but I knew I needed this book.

I read this book quickly.  I couldn't put it down.  I laughed hysterically, cried painfully, and cheered victoriously as I read through her journey.  I could relate to all of the emotions and battles that she discussed in the book.  I wanted to shout "YES!  I understand.  YES!  That is exactly how it feels.  YES That is how I would describe it, too!"  Some of the pages I would read out loud to Jamie and he would sit in awe as I read, not believing that someone else had written the words- because it sounded just like some of my own blog posts.  

When I finished the book, it left me wanting more.  I didn't want the story to end.  I still had so many questions.  The book ended when her treatments and radiation were over.  "But how is she now?  What's happening with her now?  Is she still okay?  Is she healthy? Does she think about cancer everyday or has she moved on?"   I needed to know.  Is there another book?  Has she continued to update her blog?  I just had to know more. 

So that Sunday at church, I told my friend how much I enjoyed the book, and how I didn't want it to end.  I explained to her how I needed to know MORE.  She agreed.  "Doesn't she seem just like us?  Can't you imagine her being one of our friends?  She just seems so real and llike such a neat person.  I'll bet she and her friends would get along with all of us really well.  What if we could MEET her?"  Meet her?  Really?  How would that work?  I could just imagine trying to get in touch with her and her thinking "Who are these crazy people?  Do they really think I want to meet them?"

However, my friend was on a mission.  She could tell how much I related to this author.  She made it her goal to find her, contact her, and try to get us together for a meeting.  She found her email address, and sat down and wrote one of the most beautiful and inspiring emails a friend could write.  The next thing I knew, plans were in place for a trip to Missouri- to meet the author, the person who had been on this same journey and survived, the girl who had written so honestly and openly about her journey, the one who I had so many questions to ask following the book. 

It's really not my typical personality to plan a trip 5 hours away to go see someone I don't even know.  But I never thought twice about it.  Once I knew that she wanted to meet us, we couldn't get the trip planned quickly enough.  So last weekend, right after my chemo treatment, two friends and I headed north to Missouri- on a trip that we were all both excited and nervous about.  I couldn't wait to meet her, but what if she wasn't anything like I pictured her as I read her book?  What if things were awkward and it was hard to keep conversation going?  What if she didn't like us or thought we were crazy?  So many questions raced through my mind.

We met her at a local restaurant Friday night.  The three of us arrived first.  Then I received a text that said "I'm here."  And my stomach dropped.  It's time.  The three of us turned to look around to see if we could spot this person we had traveled 5 hours to meet, and we saw her immediately.   She came up to us, we did our introductions, and from that point forward, there was no lapse in coversation until we left the restaurant 3 hours later.  Instead of meeting a new friend, it seemed as if we were visiting an old friend that we hadn't seen in awhile.  She was exactly how I had pictured her:  Strong, funny, real, down-to-Earth, a survivor, a mother, a wife, a friend.  At this point, I still didn't realize exactly WHY I needed to meet her so badly.  What was it that I needed from her? 

The night was wonderful.  We sat and ate, and talked, and shared stories, and had the best visit I could have imagined.  After dinner we went outside and took pictures- this was a memory being made and we wanted plenty of picutres to capture the night.   Here's just one:

The next day, we went to the small town where she lives and got to meet her family.  The experience was one that I will never forget.  I have met a new friend along this journey- one who I am so thankful for our paths to have crossed.  I have been so uplifted from meeting her.  I have a new outlook on this journey.  I know I CAN do this!  I will come out victorious on the other side, and when there are bumps along the road, I have many friends who will be right there by my side to help me get through it.

After we got home from our trip, I received an email from Becky.  It was her words describing what that weekend visit had meant to her, and for the first time, I realized what it was I needed from her... She describes it to a tee...In her own words, "And then there was you, Andrea.  I think your goal was to meet a survivor sister, to gather courage and strength for your artillery from someone who had been there already.  You were seeking validation that you were doing it right, that you were fighting hard enough, that you were winning."  Yes.  That's exactly what I needed.  I hadn't realized it, but I needed to meet her so badly, just to make sure I was doing it right.  Am I doing enough?  Am I doing everything I should to come out successful?  Yes.  I needed exactly what she gave me.  Validation. 

I have been so blessed by getting to meet Becky and really get to know her.  The trip to Missouri is one that I will always remember.  In fact, we are discussing another meeting in the near future.  All four of us walked away from this trip gaining something we each needed, not needing the same things, but still getting something from the visit to hold on to.  It was not by chance that this meeting happened to come together so easily.  No, our paths crossed for a reason, for many reasons, and I am thankful to God that things fell into place exactly when and how I needed them to in order for our paths to cross.