The Latest

I thought I'd take a minute just to update where we are on this journey and how things are going.  I realize I haven't really done that in awhile and when I come back and read this in a year or so, I don't want to forget everything that was a part of this journey.

Out of 16 total chemotherapy treatments, I have completed 10 of them.  I have 6 weeks left of chemo.  As you remember the first 4 treatments of Adriamycin and Cytoxan were horrible.  Nothing positive to say about those.  The last 6 treatments of Taxol have been much better, MUCH MUCH better.  However, that doesn't mean that there haven't been any symptoms- just that these symptoms are much more tolerable than the others.  I haven't had any sickness, thank goodness.  I do have about 2 days of aches/pains that feel like when you have the flu and it hurts to touch yourself.  A heating pad usually takes care of this.  I also have one day each week where my joints hurt pretty badly.  It's usually my knees and for that day it hurts to walk and climb the stairs at my house.  Again, it's not horrible, but still a side effect.  And the hot flashes- oh my.  I feel like a 65 year old woman going through menopause.  In fact, the chemo makes my body think it's going through menopause.  I think it's supposed to go back to normal eventually, but for now that's my new normal.    Oh, and while my eyebrows and eyelashes continue falling out, the hair on my head is actually starting to grow back already.  At first this scared me and made me wonder if that meant the chemo wasn't working, but after some research I discovered this is quite common.  So..maybe by Christmas I can ditch the wigs.  We'll see. 

I have tried to not let any of these side effects slow me down.  In fact, we have managed to have a GREAT summer break, which is winding down quickly.  I am so thankful for this.  Spending time with my kids during the summer is something I always look forward to, and I am thankful that this summer I was still able to do that.  It would have been hard for me to be sick and not feel well and miss out on all of the summer fun.  It still stinks that I can't swim or get close to water because of my open incision (which I think is healing, just VERY slowly), but as long as water isn't involved I've been able to enjoy all summer activities. 

So, what's next?  Well, I have 6 more weeks of chemo.  Then I will meet with a radiation oncologist who will put together my plan for radiation.  It will probably be either 6 or 7 weeks of radiation, with the beam(s) directed toward the place under my arm where the positive lymph nodes were removed.  I should start radiation sometime in September or early October. 

After radiation, I still have to schedule reconstructive surgery.  Once that is all completed, I still have the other side to worry about since it wasn't removed as planned in the initial surgery.  For now, though, I try to take one day/week at a time.  While I do try to plan out the timing of the looming events, I don't linger on them.  Let's just cross one thing off at a time. 

Mentally I am at a good place with all this.  I've had my moments, but try to not allow myself to think about it as "Surviving Stage 3 Cancer".  Instead I just look at this journey as a checklist and focus my time and energy into checking things off the list one at a time.  I'm not sure if that's the "right" way to do this or not, but it's how I've decided to handle it.  I refuse to get down, I refuse to give up, so I will continue to fight.  Worrying doesn't accomplish anything or help fight the battle, so worrying is not allowed. 

I get up everyday with a purpose.  Thank you to all of you who have commented how good I look in pictures.  I've taken the "Look good, Feel Better" approach.  Maybe if I look healthy and look like I feel good, then I will be healthy.  Ha!  Not really, but kind of.  It does make me feel good inside to feel like I am put together on the outside.  I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone other than those who have been in my shoes, but there's something about not wanting to look sick or look like you are in the battle of your life to help keep yourself positive about the whole thing. 

Life goes on.  The journey continues.  And I'm still fighting.  With the best support system around.  Thanks!  Love you guys!