I realize I've kind of disappeared out of the blog world for the last month. I apologize to those of you who have been checking for updates. We've been busy living life and enjoying each moment. I have sat down at the computer a few times with the purpose to post, but sat and stared at a blank screen and a blinking cursor...I just didn't know exactly what to post.
But after several requests for updated information, as well as misinformation circulating, I decided this post is necessary. Plus, I now feel like I've had time to wrap my mind around this diagnosis. At the time of the last post, I was still in shock and still trying to figure everything out. At this point I understand everything much better.
So...where do I start? Well, just like I said I would, I've been busy living life. I've been busy doing my normal daily routine of work, and taking the kids to gymnastics, basketball games, etc. And the weekends are spent with family and friends, with a little rest when I can find time. I feel GREAT! Honestly, I feel better right now physically than I have felt in the past year. I don't feel sick- I've been told I don't look sick- so I'd like to just keep living life like I'm not sick. Do I like the hand of cards I've been dealt? Of course not. But I'm not taking this diagnosis as a death sentence. It's just another hurdle to jump in this thing called life. So please don't feel sorry for me.
Here's what we know about the cancer... I have stage IV metastatic breast cancer. It had spread to my ovaries (which have been removed) as well as a few spots in my bones. Apparently my type of cancer did not respond at all to the chemotherapy. So these cancer cells have been growing (and spreading) for the past year. So there will not be any chemotherapy this time around. As the doctor said, I've already had the "Big Guns" of chemo, and if the cancer didn't respond, there's no reason to try another type of chemotherapy drug. So...what's the plan? Hormone therapy - which is as simple as taking a pill every day, and a dose of medication that will strengthen my bones- which is given once a month by an infusion through my port.
We did get some promising news when I had my tumor markers checked. My CTC (Circulating Tumor Cells) were at a 2. Anything less than a 5 in breast cancer patients is very encouraging and typically means a better prognosis. The different tumor markers will be checked every 3 months. I will have more PET scans, but not very often.
Now to clear the air about a few things...Yes when I got my initial diagnosis the doctor did give me a certain amount of years that I was expected to live (but only because I asked her to). But since then, she has used the word "longevity" and "do well for a long time." So I'm going to throw that number out the window. I refuse to sit back and quit living life because there is a dark cloud hanging above my head. I still have hopes, I still have dreams, and I'm going to keep living. Also, the cancer is not in my bone marrow. It is in a few spots of my bones, but hopefully we can keep it from spreading to the marrow. I am not getting a bone marrow transplant (yet) and hopefully won't need one for a very long time (or even ever).
I have an absolutely amazing support system. My friends and family are absolutely the best there is! I've even had many strangers send cards, money, and words of encouragement. I appreciate everyone and everything so much, and I feel like I don't do a good job showing how much these acts of kindness really mean to me. I'm WAY behind on Thank You notes, but that doesn't mean I'm not extremely grateful for everything that's been done- all the way from the money, the dinners, the house cleaning, the prayers...I could go on and on. I'm beyond thankful- just not very good at showing it. Please forgive me.
To those of you who check the blog often, please know that if I don't post, it doesn't necessarily mean that something bad has happened. This is going to be a LONG journey- a battle that will go on and will not go away quickly. I have to keep living- I have to go on without everyday being something about cancer.
My awesome friends are putting together a benefit and some other events to help raise money for medical costs and trips for our family. I am humbled by the outpouring of love and generosity. Here is a link to a blog that has been created for the different events coming up. Feel free to check it out for updates and information on the latest things happening: www.andreasarmy.wordpress.com
That's all for now. Sorry to write a book. Sometimes I get started and just can't stop. Thanks for sticking through to the end. :) LOVE YOU ALL!
