Tonight as I was lying down to go to sleep, I was talking to God and thanking him for all of the blessings in my life. As I started thinking about all of these blessings, I realized how much God has been by our side and taken care of our family- especially with Anderson. Don't get me wrong, I have known what a blessing he is, but I think I got caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life and allowed myself to not be as much in awe and thankfulness as I should be. The more I thought about it, the more awake I became. I could not sleep. I decided that I needed to remind myself of the entire journey that we have been on with Anderson- just to remember what a blessing he is and to remind myself of how God was with us throughout the entire journey.
One of the things I did was went back to a podcast of a sermon at our church back in April. It was the first week in a study we were doing on living a Fearless life. During the sermon, our preacher shared one of the posts from the blog that Jamie had written. It described the events of the 20 week ultrasound with openness and emotion. As I listened to it tonight, I sat and cried. I began to remember all of those feelings of uncertainty. I remembered the events and feelings that day in the doctor's office. I remembered how no matter what obstacle we faced, God gave us the courage, strength, and ability to face all of them. Those of you who know Jamie and me know that we would not be described as strong people. If you had told either of us that we would face something like that, it would have scared us to death. And if you had told us we would have the faith and strength to face it without fear and without letting the unknown completely take over our everyday thoughts, we wouldn't have belived you. But what we know now, is that we still aren't strong. God is the one who gave us the ability to make it through what we went through. There are many instances from that first visit until the present where God has shown his presence in our lives.
We had no idea what to expect with Anderson. Even after his birth we had doctors telling us that we would have major delays. I know that we are still on the beginning end of his journey, but we could not be happier that so far God has proved the doctors wrong. Anderson is the happiest baby with the sweetest personality. During our last ER visit, it was a little comical to sit back and watch the doctors (especially the neurology folks) come in to see him after looking over his medical records. Because they had a picture in their head after reading his medical records, and when they would walk into the room- the picture they previous;y had didn't match what they saw. You could see it on their faces. They were amazed. I like to think that God gets a chuckle or two as he watches, too. Because medically, with Anderson missing his Corpus Callosum, and with a large cyst in his brain full of fluid, he should already be showing signs of developmental delays- but he's not. And we give God all the praise and glory for that.
I think God has big plans for Anderson. I think when he gets bigger he is going to have quite a story/testimony to share with others. I think his future looks bright and the opportunities are endless. But no matter what he does, he will be living proof of how God works in our lives.
I know there are some of you who read this blog who may be going through struggles or storms of your own. I know some of you may be going through something that has overtaken your mind with fear and worry. Maybe you are so afraid of what's going to happen, that you are sick, you feel hopeless, and you feel like you can't face another day. I think God wants me to do more than just be thankful and share updates of how Anderson is doing. I think God expects me to share Him with all of you. I think I now have a responsibility to help others who are struggling. I want you to know something I have learned. No matter what is going on, no matter what storm you are in or what obstacle you are facing, you can give it to God. Give it to him- quit carrying it around yourself. He is in control anyway, so quit trying to take the steering wheel away from him, and let him have it. Give it to him, let him carry it, trust him, and see what happens.
The situation with Anderson is not the only fear that I handed over to God. I have been through other struggles where I had to "Let go." I am learning to let go and let God-no matter how big or how small the storm seems. It's not easy. But every time I have given something to him, he has given me the strength and courage to face it and come out on the other side. Now, please realize that by giving it to him it will not necessarily make it go away. It doesn't mean that it will turn out the way you want it to. It does mean that you acknowledge that God is in control of the situation and that you trust him. You have to know that no matter what he will take care of us- he will give us what we need.
He can help you, and He will...IF you let Him.
2 comments:
andrea ...what a witness to how poweful our GOD IS!!! and such a reminder that for God to help us we...have to let Him!!!! Blessings, bettie
AMEN! Enjoyed reading your post!!!
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