The Good, The Bad, and The Undecided

It has been an exhausting day both physically and emotionally. Thank you for all the prayers throughout the day today. Please continue to pray. We don't know a lot yet. We have to wait until tomorrow afternoon or Monday for the MRI results, but for now, here's what we know...



The Good:

Anderson is not lacking in growth or nutrition at all! He is following in his sisters' footsteps of being at the top of the growth chart. They are already estimating his weight at 2lb 5 oz....and we still have 3 months to go!



The ultrasound technician thought she could see the cavum septum pellucidum today during the ultrasound. We don't know exactly what this means, but have been told that is supposed to be good news (they could not find it 3 weeks ago).



He was laying in a much better position today for them to get pictures...he is still breech, but not laying facing my back.



The MRI technicians were very pleased with the quality of pictures they were able to get. So, once a radiologist and a neurologist read the films, we should finally get some answers, or at least a solid diagnosis.



The Bad:

During the ultrasound, the sonographer felt like she could see a cyst on his brain. The doctor wouldn't say much about it, she just said to wait and see what the MRI shows.



There was a question about the amount of fluid on the right side of his brain. There wasn't enough for it to be a big concern right now, but they would have to keep an eye on it.



The sonographer also said something to the doctor about "it" being asymmetrical...Jamie and I haven't figured out exactly what is asymmetrical, but we do know that everything in the brain should be symmetrical, so we are hoping the MRI will shed more light on this.



They did tell me today that I will have to deliver at Vanderbilt rather than MRMC. I know that will be a good place for us to be, but I love my OB doctor and was hoping he could deliver this baby also.



The MRI was just as bad as I thought it would be...I hope I don't have to have anymore of those!



The Undecided:

At this point, we really don't know if today was good or bad...when we left the 11:30 ultrasound I was devastated. I felt like more bad things had been revealed to us than any other ultrasound...but the doctor wouldn't say much until she gets the report from the MRI, so I don't know whether to be worried, or if everything is going to be okay. By the time we left the 5:00 MRI, I just felt lost. I felt like I was walking away from an exhausting day with no more information than I had this morning when I walked in.



Anyway, thank you so much for your continued prayers. Please don't stop praying. We are hoping for good news when we get the results from the MRI. We do still know that God is in control and he will take care of everything, but I did have some weak moments today where I allowed Satan to try to convince me that things were NOT going to be okay. The good thing is that when I am weak, Jamie is stronger than ever, and vice versa. He is wonderful to me...after the ultrasound he just kept reminding me that everything will be okay, and that we will get through this TOGETHER, no matter what.



We are both completely exhausted. I only got about 30 minutes of sleep last night. I was so anxious for today and what we would find out, that I just watched the clock tick all night long. I am hoping for a good night's rest tonight. I will post as soon as we get some results- which will hopefully be tomorrow if I can harass enough people at Vanderbilt! :)



For tonight, I will leave you with some of the words of one of my favorite songs that went through my head several times today:



I was sure by now,
God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen" and it's still raining.

As the thunder rolls,
I barely hear you whisper through the rain
"I'm with you."
And as your mercy falls,
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
and takes away

I'll praise you in this storm
I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried,
You hold in your hand,
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm.

~Casting Crowns "Praise You in this Storm"