Welcome to Holland

As Jamie and I prepare ourselves for our doctor's visit this Thursday, we feel blessed beyond measure. The number of people who are praying for our sweet Anderson is overwhelming. God has also placed two other new people in our lives this past week who have been a blessing to us. It can't be a coincidence that I have met, and gotten to talk to, two other mothers of children with ACC (Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum)- one right here in my hometown, and another several hundred miles away in Arizona. What a blessing!

Tonight, I know that Thursday's appointments will be stressful, I know that I am scared out of my mind to have the MRI, and I am nervous of exactly what we will find out. But, God is still giving me a sense of peace. I feel that I am prepared to handle the news that the CC is not there at all, even on the MRI. Especially after talking to one of my new friends on the phone, I know that this news will not be the end of the world. Will it be different than what we planned? Yes, but that doesn't mean it's bad... I am also prepared to have a huge celebration if we were to happen to find out that the CC is there and everything looks wonderful. Although I have not allowed myself to get my hopes up this time. I am prepared for either outcome.

One of the things that I discussed with one of my new friends who knows what I'm going through because she has "been there, done that", was the fact that people who have never been through something like this don't understand, they don't know what to say, so often times, they don't say anything. It's funny to watch people's reactions when they come up to me and ask how I am feeling/doing. When I reply..."I am great! I couldn't be better! I have no complaints." they look at me like I'm crazy. But, I am okay. I feel great. And I know and trust that God is in control. He has given me a peace like I never thought I would have with something like this.

But I wanted to share a poem with you. This poem was written by a mother of a special needs child, who puts into words what it is like to have a special needs child...She does a very beautiful job of putting into words what it's like from the moment you are pregnant and find out your child has something wrong.

While I haven't experienced all of the areas of the poem because I am still in the planning stages of my "trip", this poem gives me hope. It gives me a new perspective of looking at life. It's a little long, but it is WONDERFUL so please read the entire thing. Maybe you, too, will be blessed by her words.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome to Holland
By: Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability-to try to help people who have not shared the unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.

It's like this: When you are going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans: the Coliseum, Michaelangelo's "David", the gondolas in Venice...You may learn some handy phrases in Itailian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the big day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands.

The flight attendant comes and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?" you say. "What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. All my life I have dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plans. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. You must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there awhile and you catch your breath, you look around and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they are all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, "Yes, that is where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you, Lord for allowing me my trips to Italy twice already. Please help me to plan for a wonderful trip to Holland this time, if that is your will.