Latest News...

The past month has FLOWN by so quickly! It seems like just a week or so ago since I last updated the blog, but now I realize that it has been exactly a month. What a busy month it has been!

We did sell our house and have moved into our new home. We still have a few things that we have NO idea where they are, but overall things are unpacked and we are loving our new space. Due to the move, we have been without internet service for well over a week. I haven't been able to post to the blog or check many facebook statuses, besides the few minutes of wireless we "borrow" from a neighbor. (hey, if you don't put a password on your wireless, then you are technically allowing me to borrow! Oops!) I figured there were some of you who had been checking the blog for an update on the baby since our visit to Vanderbilt on the 24th of February.

The 24th was the day that we (along with many of you) had been praying for a miracle. We didn't get our miracle that day, but we did get some encouraging news. The corpus callosum was still not visible via ultrasound. This was hard for me to hear, because I had convinced myself that it WOULD be there this time. However, after getting over the initial disappointment, I allowed myself to hear the positive news among all of it.

At this time, everything else in the baby's brain (or body for that matter) appear normal: normal size, normal shape, normal placement, etc. The only problem is the missing corpus callosum. This news is good because it pushes us toward the less severe end of the symptoms spectrum. In fact, the doctors at Vandy told us there are adults walking around today missing this piece of their brain and they don't even know it- sometimes adults go for a CT scan for some other reason and discover during the test that they are missing this piece of their brain...weird, huh?

We are scheduled to have a fetal MRI on March 18th. The MRI should show the area of the brain in much more detail than the ultrasound is able to do. We will receive a diagnosis after the results of the MRI are shared with our specialist. They did explain to us that there will still be many questions that they cannot answer, even after giving the diagnosis.

As I mentioned earlier, I was very disappointed at first during our last appointment. However, I have since realized that it's okay. This time I am preparing myself for the MRI to also confirm that this area of the brain is still missing. I am preparing myself for a diagnosis, as well as any challenges we may face with this sweet baby boy. This does NOT mean that I don't still pray every day for a miracle. It does NOT mean that I have given up on God or think that he isn't going to do anything about it. In fact, quite the opposite. I believe all things happen for a reason. I know that God has the power to heal this baby, but if he chooses not to do a complete healing, there is a purpose. Either he has big plans for this child, our family, or some other way that this situation will be used for his glory. I don't know the reason, but I do know that God is in control and he will take care of us- NO MATTER WHAT.

Can I admit something? There are days that I really feel guilty about asking people to pray for the baby. Sound crazy? I know. But instead of asking myself "Why me? Why my baby?" I've started asking "Why not me?" Do I think I am too good to have a child with special needs? So, thank you for your prayers...but sometimes I feel guilt about asking for them. I know prayer is a very powerful thing, but this guilt is something I am currently struggling with.

We don't know what the future holds for this child, but right now the doctors are leading us in a more positive direction. This good news must be answers to prayers going up on behalf of this baby and our family. Praise God! We do believe in the power of prayer, but I am also realistic and understand that things don't have to be PERFECT to be OKAY. And I think I can live with that.

By the way, this sweet baby does finally have a name:

Anderson Knox Spears